Wednesday, September 15, 2010

People I Love + What I Love Doing



Tonight I am a 25 year old girl who is not a single mother, a subteam leader, an aspiring fashion designer, an aspiring writer, or an overall responsible person. I am just myself, raw and open, unafraid of showing humanity. 


I used to be a lot more guarded than this. But thanks to The Princess, The Frog Prince, The Ballerina, The Renaissance Man, The Crazy Cat Lady, The Soupgirl, The Actor, The Cartomancer, The Perky Girl, The Transporter, and The Psychologist, I have returned to who I am without the fear of being unaccepted. I am grateful to all of them. Their company is nourishing. They offer a balance of intellectual talk and playfulness, some of the few things I really need.


So this is what it means to be with other people without expectation. The give-and-take relationship is there, but there's no need to keep tabs. Everything's free-flowing. It's like there's an unspoken understanding of our relationship. We are simply here for each other, aware of each other's differences and existence. It feels nice and I am very thankful for this time.


(One of the lessons I've learned with them is honesty and candidness.)






I miss writing stories, but I do not know what to write. My process has probably changed. Back then, my creativity was fueled by a very passionate rage or a deep-seated mourning. Although I haven't written anything new as of this time, I feel like my process will be more technical. What will fuel it is imagination and mischief---the idea excites me.


I wonder what else I'm capable of as a writer. I wonder what else I can share and if they are worth other people's time. The only thing I'm sure of is that my new work will not resonate with my previous crowd. I have changed as a person, thus the change in perspective. I wonder what types of people will get me at this time.

In these times I don't, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don't want what I know and want what I don't know. -Marsilio Ficino


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